the best thing

I don't know how many people can join me in saying that they are "doers". I love to be busy...the more activities, the better. Some endearingly call this the "Martha complex" from the familiar story in Luke 10:38-42. Recently the Father brought this condition that I share along with many others to my attention as being the reason for my tired and cranky attitude.

It's so easy for me to get involved in things, only to have those things turn into worry and stress. The crazy part is, it just kind of naturally happens to me. I'm serious! You know what I mean...helping people out when they ask, being reluctant to say "no", feeling like it's all part of what I need to be doing. I mean, I'm a missionary right? Aren't we supposed to help and serve everybody? Well, the Lord has shown me that the answer is "no". This is not to say that these are not good things, just as Martha was doing good in serving the Lord. But I must ask myself, reflecting on what the Lord said of Mary, "Are they the best thing?" Keeping in mind as I ask this question the purpose Christ has called me to, and if the things I'm doing are keeping with that purpose.

Refocusing my efforts and daily activities has not been easy. I've had to go back and say "no" to things I had already agreed to do. But the sweet release and peace that has come from letting many of these things go makes it worth it.

This process has brought me to yet another step in the journey of learning to live by the grace that saved me. So in closing, dear friend I have to ask you, are you choosing the best thing?

things should not be this difficult!

So for the past week or so I've been trying to sign up for a class in a university, just so I can have a presence on campus and get to know the college students of this culture. I returned yesterday, after taking a written and oral exam last week, to fill out paper work and pay for the class. Last week during the testing I had asked the professor questions about all I needed to do to be ready for this class, etc. She gave me info and I thought I was good. Well, as I proceed to do what I've been told...calling the school, no one can direct me where I need to go. On top of that, no one knows who I need to talk to!!! So yesterday I go up to the school at 6:30am to see if I can't have more luck in person. When I get there I find that the one office I need to get into does not open 'til 8:30am. Wonderful. So I wait. At 8:30 I enter the office and somewhat explain my dilemma. I am then left to wait another 30 minutes, at the end of which I'm told that they can't enter me into the data base because last Friday was the last day to register for classes. They then send me to the other side of the campus to talk with the department head and see what can be done. She informs me that she will send an email to explain my situation in hopes that someone will pity the poor foreigner, but cannot assure me of anything, She then sends be back to the office I was first in. When I return I speak with another worker in the office. He tries to get me into the program, when unsuccessful he calls the administration asking for permission to register me. After another 30 min wait he tells me that he has no idea when administration will give him a definite answer and for me to go ahead and leave and they will contact me when they can tell me "yes" or "no".
I left the office quite frustrated and down-hearted. Thinking to myself that never in the states would simply signing up for classes two days late be such a hassle when it was the professor who gave me wrong info in the first place!! These people want more students right? They want me to give them my money, no? Then what's the problem!!
At this point I must admit that I had a cultural revolt going on inside me. I could not stop thinking how things should not be this difficult and that everything is so much better and more simple in the US!! After calming down and refocusing, I know that is not necessarily true and that the Father more than likely is trying yet again to teach me patience among many things. There are always difficult moments and circumstances in life that we are not in control of, but we do control how we react to them. ~Father, help me to rest in You and trust You in these moments. Not letting my personal frustration cloud the way You would have me to respond, that is, with Your unconditional love. Amen.

most wonderful time of the year!

December. Christmas. I love this time of year! Everything about it is wonderful, from the cheerful music and decorations to that crisp feeling in the air. It's a wonderful time to savor friends, family...and life.
As I ponder this year and all the changes and new experiences that I have had, I cannot help but stand in awe of the joy that comes from being alive. There are such wonders in the small experiences of drinking a dr. pepper, eating a hamburger, and being with friends. Things we aren't always conscious of, but that fill our lives. Life can be so complex and overwhelming, but then it's so simple...just live! I remain convinced that it's the litte things that make it worth the living.
I feel so grateful to be where I am today, learning new things, meeting new people, being able to look back and see how my Heavenly Father is shaping my life for His glory.
I guess there's something about this season that makes me so reflective, and maybe that's what makes this the most wonderful time of the year!

utterly amazing

well the two month marker has now been officially reached. it feels more like three or four with all that's happened. God has opened so many amazing doors that i have no idea what's going on! not that i had much of one anyway...a small glimpse...the first week i arrived He put me in touch with a family that got me a two month pass onto a university campus (usually you have to be a student to be on campus) the school is one of the most prestigious in the country and the dean of the theological department came out to meet me and give me their latest text books. they also invited me to use their theological library. this same family has loved and adopted me as i learn this new place with all it's new ways.

that same week a girl from the church i'm attending invited me to a university Bible study lead by a organization whose prime focus is university students. a few weeks ago this same ministry asked to partner with me in ministry!

God has also given me the opportunity to, alongside my supervisors, teach two english classes for university students. we've been going strong for a month now. we started with two students and now have eight and growing. we are using a bilengual Bible as part of the class. most of the students either aren't believers or are ashamed to admit so to their peers. one of the guys who openly told us he wasn't a Christian has loved reading through the first chapters of John and seeing how beautiful the gospel story is! he told us he had no idea what the Bible said or that this is what it really meant to believe.

it is utterly amazing to see all these things and be a small part of them. it would be a lie for anyone to believe this has all been smooth sailing or that i have anything to do with any of it...it is a daily battle of seeking the Father and His will...and it is never easy. one thing is certain though, He remains faithful and He hears the prayers of His children! blessed be His name!

life in colombia

Well, I've been in Colombia a month now and am still trying to find my way around this HUGE city! It has been a hard adjustment for me, living alone, but God has shown Himself faithful in so many ways. He has given me wonderful friends that are like family, as well as put me in contact with a university! Woo-hoo! So much has happened so fast that I can hardly process it all. I still feel confused as to how God is going to use me here, but He is obviously working in so many ways. It's an exciting and scary time...life is definitely an adventure...and I'm so thankful that His mercies are fresh every day!

ya me voy

panamanian playa


sketchy border crossing bridge


bocas del toro isla (yes it translates mouths of the bull and I have no idea why)


proudly showing off the visa

Well, after two months and six visits to the Embassy I now have my Colombian visa and leave a week from Friday! Woo-hoo! It's hard to believe how quickly these four months have passed and that I'm going to be leaving soon. God has blessed in so many ways. My visa is just one of the many. I'm once again flooded with mixed emotions as I pack-up and leave a place that has just begun to feel like home. I'm trying to prepare my mind to face a world of newness and unknowns once again. I feel like a child at Christmas...I've waited so long to leave for Colombia and now that it's here I hardly know what to do with myself. Having the opportunity to come to Costa Rica, meet the people, learn the culture and see the sights has been a blessing too great for words.
I had the chance to visit Panama and renew my Costa Rican visa, and what a beautiful country! The whole border crossing was an adventure in and of itself, but thankfully we made it safely both ways. I don't know about inland, but the beaches of Panama are amazing. It's almost like a clip from a movie...unbelievably blue water, palm trees, white sand...absolutely gorgeous. I continue to be blown away by the beauty that our God has made and allows us to enjoy. What goodness!

las tres cruzes

a beautiful view of the central valley


jessica, me and mandi enjoying the view from the top


us at the first cross